A quick peek at the Jea Football League 2011 standings shows that three teams are 3-0, one has a .500 record, and the rest have losing records.
That's right, six of our 10 teams are losers in the standings realm.
And because six teams make the playoffs, that means if the playoffs were today, two teams with losing records would be in. How sad!
But let's look on the bright side and focus on those 3-0 teams for a second.
Specifically, last year's champion: Fire Ants. If you include the three rounds of playoffs last season, Ants have won 10 games in a row.
That's right. Ten games, zero losses. To really drive home the point, consider this: He hasn't lost since Nov. 7, 2010. Insane.
In other 3-0 news, Team Fartsicle is off to a not-crappy start. The league's third-highest-scoring team last season has 480 points through three games in 2011, a sweet 160 per game. Not bad!
And last year's second-highest-scoring team, Team Green Trees, holds the same spot through three games this year. He's pulling in nearly 150 points per.
So that's the good news. The bad news? Explosion Imminent!!!, who has one painful loss for each of his team's exclamation points!
It's bad enough that his opponents score more points against him than any other opponent (145 per game). Combine that with the fact that Explosion has scored the fewest points this season (87 per game), and we have a problem.
Another disturbing trend: Teams No. 1, 2, 3 in most points scored rank 2nd, 3rd, and 1st in fewest points against. Should it surprise you that those are our 3-0 teams?
Yay, scheduling!
To the recaps! (As usual, starting with the closest games)
Steeles 127, Feeny 123
Let's say you have to pick between two quarterbacks. One is pretty decent, and you drafted him fairly high (for a second QB). The other is Rex Grossman. Which do you choose?
If you picked Rex Grossman, you lose. And I did. And I did.
Yep, had I started Eli Manning, Steeles would be 0-3, and I would be one of only four teams with a winning record. But in the closest game of the week, Tim Hightower had just enough to beat Grossman and the rest of my team.
In other news, has there been a bigger bust this season so far than Chris Johnson? Sure, some of our keepers have been injured, but Chris Johnson has played in every game. He just hasn't played well, and that's led to Steeles' 1-2 start.
CJ2K's 4, 6, and 7 points won't win many weeks for the Steeles if something doesn't change.
Cactus 95, When 84
Two of the four lowest-scoring teams this week faced off in an all-Nguyen-all-the-time showdown.
The winning Nguyen this week was Cactus, who now has a symmetrical 1-1-1 record after a Week 1 tie.
Cactus had a decently balanced, if low-scoring, team, but When went Patriots-heavy this week. Two of his three New England players (Brady and Gronkowski) combined for more than half his team's total.
And with Jamaal Charles already out with a torn ACL, add another fantasy stud to the not-walking wounded for When: Kenny Britt, who had 48 points in his first two games this season.
Ouch.
More injury fun with Lonely Cactus, with Arian Foster and Michael Vick both hurt in Week 3. Foster has 3 points this season. Total.
Fartsicle 149, Dark Knight 132
Please take a moment to compare these scores to the scores in the Cactus-When game. Need I say more?
OK, I will anyway. These teams are good. You know how good Farty has been this season, and Dark Knight has the fourth-most points scored, a fact not reflected in his 1-2 record.
Fifteen players in this matchup scored in double figures. Wow. Not to belabor the point, but just eight players scored in double digits in the Catcus-When game.
I said it last season, and I'll say it again. Sometimes you can have a great week and still lose. Just ask the 2010 version of An.
This one might have been closer if Knight had been monitoring Beanie Wells' status for his 3:15 start. Wells was declared inactive, and Knight could have replaced him with WR Sidney Rice, boosting his point total by 11.
Sure, Knight still would have lost, but every point matters when the playoffs get here. Important: You don't want to drop points at any, um, point in the season.
Eleven points now are worth the same as 11 points in Week 13.
Ants 111, Explosion 68
I've told you about these two teams already. One can't lose, the other can't seem to win. Let's let Explosion tell you his thoughts: "Ugh. Can I just quit now?"
No, but you can take comfort in the memory that Ants started 0-3 last season before pulling off an improbable championship. So don't declare your team DOA after just three weeks!
But DOA is probably an accurate description for Explosion's team this week. His leading scorer had just 13 points (Ryan), a total nearly tripled by Ants' leading scorer (Welker, 36).
When I look at Explosion's roster, though, I see talent there. I think. Let's hope, for Explo's sake, that the guys show up in the future.
Trees 145, Hay Knee 93
Blowout of the week! (Though for some reason the Ants-Explosion game feels like it was a bigger blowout.)
Jeeeeez. Look at the top seven players on Trees: 32, 24, 23, 16, 15, 14, 12. That will get it done most weeks, people.
His two excellent keepers, Rice and Peterson, combined for a solid 30, and it only seemed to improve from there.
Hay Knee didn't have a bad week, but his two top scorers were on his bench. It wouldn't have changed the outcome, but it sure would've looked better!
