Those pesky Fire Ants!

Impressive. How else would you describe seven consecutive wins to finish the season?

That's the feat accomplished by Fire Ants, your 2010 Jea Football League champion. He needed to win to get in the playoffs, and he did. Once in the playoffs, the winning just didn't stop.

In Super Bowl II, Ants rode the strength of his two quarterbacks, Josh Freeman and Jay Cutler, and not much else as he secured a 108-92 win over top-seeded Team When. Freeman and Cutler combined for 57 of Ants' 108 points.

Ants found much of his success on the waiver wires. He had to, considering his mediocre draft in which he picked a kicker before drafting a third running back. That kicker, Stephen Gostkowski, and most of the players he drafted are no longer on the team.

In fact, 76 of Ants' 108 points in the Super Bowl came from players he didn't draft. For his opponent, Team When, only 31 of 92 points came from players he didn't draft.

Well done on the waivers, Ants!

The third-place game provided a lot of excitement as it all came down to the rare Tuesday Night game.

In an off day for the Eagles offense, Steeles held onto his lead and came away in the money. Steeles, last year's champs, have won money in both seasons of the Jea Football League.

Other notes? Well, it's worth pointing out that Practice, though his season was over a month ago, continues to score a ton of points. He won all three of his consolation ladder matchups, scoring 134, 152, and 118 points over the final three weeks of the season. But, like last year, he finished 7th.

Well, that's it. The 2010 season is officially over <sniff>. It's OK, though, the 2011 Jea Football League draft will be here before you know it.

For everyone but Fire Ants, that means another chance at snagging the championship that eluded them. For Ants, it means the pressure and opportunity that comes with the drive to repeat as champion.

It will all begin next summer. I'll be in touch once it's time to discuss keepers, rule changes for next season, and draft dates. I'm thinking we'll continue with a $20 entry fee and two keepers per team for the 2011 season, but other rules are open to be changed. I'll submit to each team owner a list of proposed rule changes, and a majority vote will decide whether they will be implemented. Team owners will be able to submit their own ideas for rule changes, as well.

Well, thanks for reading! So long!

Sorry, I missed it. What happened? Did I win?

I had a busy weekend and wasn't able to watch any football, but I have to say I'm feeling pretty good about my big playoff game against the Steeles. I was projected to win, and my team has been pretty consistent all season. And the Steeles have only won twice in the last seven weeks of the season. Things are looking good. Nay, they're looking great! 


That's why I'm confused about why everyone is avoiding eye contact with me today. As I walked in this morning, some stranger patted me on the back in a consoling manner. The smile from the security guard was a little too pleasant. Three bouquets of flowers were in my office, one with the words, "I'm here for you if you need a friend." What's with that?


Ohhh, this about Cliff Lee, isn't it? It's OK, I'll get over it in time. At least I still have my fantasy team to cheer me up.


Anyway, I wanted to share my thoughts on the blog before heading over to ESPN to see how big of a victory I had against Steeles this weekend. OK, OK, I'll be modest. I guess that... I won by 10 or 12 points. BRB; wish me luck! 


Crap. 


Wild Card Round


Steeles 228, Screech 85


It all makes sense now. The sympathy cards, the pat on the back, the people staring and then quickly looking away when we made eye contact. It all makes sense.


This wasn't just your typical beatdown like the one Explosion dealt to Fire Ants in their Week 3 showdown. That was a mere 93-point dismantling.


No, this was a 143-point shellacking. Look at it this way: Steeles was 27 points away from tripling my score. 


I always look at double-digit performances as good indicators of who will win a matchup. It's a pretty good yardstick. Anything 10 points or above in a single roster spot can be considered a good day, for fantasy purposes. If your team has more double-digit performers than your opponent, you'll probably win.


Well, open up a new designation for the Steeles' players this week: 20-plus performances. He had seven of them. In fact, all but one of his double-digit performers was also a 20-plus performer. That's never happened in our league.


By comparison, I had three guys in double digits, with my highest scorer netting a whopping 17 points.


Fortunately, there are no point-related trophies awarded in the postseason, because he would get all of the good ones, and I would get all of the bad ones, most notably "Serious Pwnage." 


Steeles would probably say that he expected this type of point production every week, but it was a striking departure from the norm for him (and any team, really). Consider that Steeles averaged 110 points per week this season and that his previous best week was 150 in Week 10.


Steeles has a lot of players with big-week potential, and all of them decided to have their big week at the same time. You could call players like McFadden, C. Johnson, A. Johnson and Jackson "feast or famine." The big four had 128 points this week and would've beaten me all by themselves. Wow.


But look at Week 12, my last game against Steeles. In that week, the four combined for just 20 points. If that was a famine week, this matchup was the next 10 Thanksgivings worth of feasting all rolled into one. You can't expect those four to combine for 128 again, but Steeles will still find success if he gets at least two or three of them to have a nice week.


Here are the eight players who had double digits for Steeles. I've listed their name, how many points they had this week, where this week ranks for them, and their weekly average from the regular season:

• McFadden, 43 points, second-best week (best: 46), average: 15.4
• Jackson, 32 points, best week (previous best: 24), average: 11.9
• A. Johnson, 29 points, best week (previous best: 22), average: 12.4
• Schaub, 28 points, second-best week (best: 31), average: 15.4
• A. Smith, 27 points, best week (previous best: 20), average: 8.4
• C. Johnson, 24 points, fourth-best week (best: 29), average: 13.6
• Patriots D/ST, 20 points, second-best week (best: 27), average 7.0
• Winslow, 13 points, best week (previous best: 12), average 5.5

Four of those players had their best weeks of the season in this matchup, and two were three points below their previous best. The other two, Chris Johnson and the Patriots D/ST, finished within seven points of their previous best week.

Those eight players above combined for an average of 89.6 through the 13-week regular season. Their total in the Wild Card Round of the playoffs: 216. 


Ouch. 


If you think I'm just bitter, you're right! But there is no questioning the result in this one. His players were better than mine, and no roster moves by me could've changed that result one bit.


For all of the skill and dominance the Steeles exhibited in this matchup, I must mention his lone questionable move: starting Robbie Gould, his kicker, in the blizzard in Chicago. 


(It must be noted that if starting the wrong kicker is your worst move of the week, you're in good shape.)


The forecast called for a blizzard well before the game, and plenty of kickers were available. Let that serve as a reminder to everyone that weather might affect kickers more than any other position. The Patriots did kick three field goals successfully, but all were within 30 yards and the game was out of reach early.


Anyway, 17 available kickers scored more than Gould, including five available kickers who finished with double digits (Jeff Reed had 17). And he couldn't have needed to keep Gould on his roster that badly, considering Gould is the league's 16th-ranked kicker in fantasy production.


So, yeah. In the battle of kickers, I win 7-1. So there. 


The only other players on his roster who didn't score in double digits were much easier to understand. Matt Forte, a strong runner, should have done much better in the snow, even against the Steeles' own defense, the Patriots.


And Santonio Holmes dropped what was a sure touchdown in rainy conditions at the Meadowlands, so his day could've easily been better and vaulted the Steeles' score higher.


Nicely done, Steeles. 


Next up for Steeles: A semifinal game against the league's top-ranked team, Team When. When had the most wins during the regular season, but Steeles finished with a few more points than When, 1434-1415. 


However, When won their lone regular-season matchup, 93-83. You might remember that game as the one where When had five players on bye and started just one quarterback but still beat the Steeles' on an off day.


Steeles can't carry any points over from the previous week, and, like all of the four remaining playoff teams, he still needs to win at least once in the next two weeks to finish in the money. 


As good as he looked this week, it seems impossible for Steeles to come anywhere near 200 points again. The question on everyone's minds, then, is just how far "back to Earth" will he come? 


Stay tuned and find out!




Ants 115, Trees 77


Now this is how fantasy football playoffs are supposed to go down. They should be low-scoring affairs where someone with the last name Wendell ends up winning.


Yes, the Fire Ants are in the semifinals, something that wasn't looking too likely after the 0-3 start.


These are two teams that are continuing their surge in opposite directions. Ants has won five in a row, including the playoff win, and Trees has now lost five straight.


Momentum should not be as important in fantasy football as it is in regular football, but these two teams suggest otherwise.


How wacky was this game? Well, consider that Trees' leading scorer was his defense, and Ants' top performer was his kicker, Jay Feely, who had a touchdown, five field goals, and four extra points to finish with 28. That's only the second double-digit week of the season for Feely. His previous best? Thirteen points all the way back in Week 5.


Cutler was a disappointment for Ants, but his other QB, Josh Freeman, was not. Freeman's stats are interesting. He had 17 in this matchup, which means he's gone 10 straight games with between 11 and 19 points. Consistently decent!


That's more than you can say about Ben Roethlisberger and Carson Palmer, the Trees' QBs, who were two of the several disappointing players for the Trees. 


Plugging in Trees' top bench players, McNabb (17) and Garçon (21), would've made this closer but still resulted in an Ants win.


Next up for Ants: A semifinal game against the league's second-ranked team, Team Fartsicle. Farty outscored Ants 1472-1439 in the regular season and won their only matchup, 131-89.


But in that game, Farty got 27 points from Aaron Rodgers, who is now questionable with a concussion.


You see, for some reason, Farty played Rodgers during his bye in the first round of the playoffs, and now the league's second-best fantasy QB is injured and might not play this weekend. I guess that's what you get for showboating and starting your top players during a bye week!




Note about Waivers:


The waiver order has been reset for the Semifinal round of the playoffs the reflect the seeds of the four remaining teams. The top four are the ones that really matter, and it goes: When, Fartsicle, Ants, Steeles, in that order. 


Good luck to everyone in the Semifinal Round of the playoffs! 

This is it

It's all come down to this, folks. Just one week remains in the Jea Football League regular season. There's still a lot to be decided, so keep your seat belts fastened for one more week.

The 2010 season has been an interesting ride, as it always is. Like any sports league, ours has had its share of frustrations and triumphs over the past 12 weeks of fantasy football.

The frustrations were for Practice, mainly. He finally lost his seasonlong battle against an impossible schedule.

And triumphs for Ants and Fartsicle, each near the bottom of the standings earlier in the season. Ants started 0-3 before winning seven of the next nine. Fartsicle was 3-3 before putting together a solid 4-1 stretch. Those two teams have locked up a playoff spot.

They join When and Screech as four of the six teams who are guaranteed a playoff slot. But six total teams are still in contention for one of the top two seeds. Remember, finishing the regular season in first or second gives you a first-round bye and a better chance at the money.

But what about those other two unclaimed playoff spots? Let's look at each team's playoff scenarios, starting at the top of the standings and working our way down.

Remember: The tiebreaker between two or more teams with identical records is total points scored. In the scenarios below, I won't get into what would happen if two teams had identical records and identical points scored. That would take way too long. But, FYI, the second tiebreaker is most total points against.

Playoff scenarios:


WHEN (8-4 record; 1,312 points scored)
Odds of making playoffs: 100 percent
Average finishing position: 1.8
Highest and lowest possible finish: 1st, 3rd
Week 13 opponent: Screech
What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN
• LOSE, and one of these four...
• Fartsicle and Ants loss
• Fartsicle win, and Ants loss:
• Plus make up 21-point deficit to Fartsicle
• Fartsicle loss, and Ants win:
• Plus maintain 24-point lead on Ants
• Fartsicle and Ants win:
• Plus make up 22-point deficit to Fartsicle, AND maintain 24-point lead on Ants

SCREECH (7-5; 1,364)

Odds of making playoffs: 100 percent

Average finishing position: 2.5

Highest and lowest possible finish: 1st, 5th 

Week 13 opponent: When

What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN, and one of these four...
• Fartsicle and Ants loss
• Fartsicle win and Ants loss:
• Plus maintain 22-point lead on Fartsicle
• Fartsicle loss and Ants win:
• Plus maintain 67-point lead on Ants
• Fartsicle and Ants win:
• Plus maintain 22- and 67-point leads
• LOSE, and all of the following...
• Fartsicle and Ants loss
• Maintain his 22- and 67-point leads on Fartsicle and Ants
• And one of these these four scenarios:
• Trees loss, Steeles loss
• Trees win, Steeles loss, maintain 1-point lead on Trees
• Trees loss, Steeles win, maintain 31-point lead on Steeles
• Trees win, Steeles win, maintain both leads

FARTSICLE (7-5; 1,342)

Odds of making playoffs: 100 percent

Average finishing position: 3.0

Highest and lowest possible finish: 1st, 6th

Week 13 opponent: Hahne

What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN, and one of these four...
• When win and Ants loss
• When win and Ants win:
• Plus maintain 45-point lead on Ants
• Screech win and Ants loss:
• Plus make up 22-point deficit to Screech
• Screech win and Ants win:
• Plus make up Screech deficit, AND maintain lead on Ants
• LOSS, and all of the following...
• When win (over Screech)
• Ants loss
• Make up the Screech deficit, maintain lead on Ants
• And one of these these four scenarios:
• Trees loss, Steeles loss
• Trees win, Steeles loss, make up 21-point deficit to Trees
• Trees loss, Steeles win, maintain 9-point lead on Steeles
• Trees win, Steeles win, make up Trees deficit, and maintain Steeles lead

ANTS (7-5; 1,297)

Odds of making playoffs: 100 percent

Average finishing position: 3.7

Highest and lowest possible finish: 2nd, 4th

Week 13 opponent: Republic

What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN, and one of these four...
• When win and Fartsicle loss
• When win and Fartsicle win:
• Plus make up 45-point deficit to Fartsicle
• Screech win and Fartsicle loss:
• Plus make up 67-point deficit to Screech
• Screech win and Fartsicle win:
• Plus make up Screech and Fartsicle deficits
• LOSS, and all of the following...
• When win (over Screech)
• Fartsicle loss
• Make up the Screech deficit and Fartsicle deficits
• And one of these these four scenarios:
• Trees loss, Steeles loss
• Trees win, Steeles loss, make up 66-point deficit to Trees
• Trees loss, Steeles win, make up 36-point deficit to Steeles
• Trees win, Steeles win, make up Trees and Steeles deficits

TREES (6-6; 1,363)

Odds of making playoffs: 93.8 percent

Average finishing position: 5.1

Highest and lowest possible finish: 2nd, 7th

Week 13 opponent: Practice

What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN, and all of the following...
• When win (over Screech)
• Fartsicle loss
• Ants loss
• Make up 1-point deficit to Screech
• Maintain leads on Fartsicle (21 pts) and Ants (66)
• Plus one of these scenarios:
• Steeles loss
• Steeles win AND maintain 30-point lead on Steeles

 What he has to do to make the playoffs:

• WIN
• LOSS, and one of the following...
• Losses by Republic, Explosion, AND Hahne
• Maintain leads on any of these teams if they win: Explosion (26), Republic (81), and Hahne (239)

STEELES (6-6; 1,333)

Odds of making playoffs: 50 percent

Average finishing position: 5.9

Highest and lowest possible finish: 2nd, 8th 

Week 13 opponent: Explosion

What he has to do to get a first-round bye:

• WIN, and all of the following...
• When win (over Screech)
• Fartsicle loss
• Ants loss
• Make up 31-point deficit to Screech and 9-point deficit to Fartsicle
• Maintain lead on Ants (36)
• Plus one of these scenarios:
• Trees loss
• Trees win AND make up 30-point deficit to Trees

What he has to do to make the playoffs:

• WIN
• LOSS, and all of the following...
• Trees loss
• Make up 30-point deficit on Trees
• Maintain 51-point and 209-point leads on Republic and Hahne if either of those teams wins

EXPLOSION (5-7; 1,337)

Odds of making playoffs: 37.5 percent

Average finishing position: 7.7

Highest and lowest possible finish: 5th, 10th 

Week 13 opponent: Steeles

What he has to do to make the playoffs:

• WIN, and one of the following...
• Losses by Republic and Hahne
• Maintain leads over Republic (55) and Hahne (213) even if either wins.

REPUBLIC (5-7; 1,282)

Odds of making playoffs: 18.8 percent

Average finishing position: 7.5

Highest and lowest possible finish: 5th, 10th 

Week 13 opponent: Ants

What he has to do to make the playoffs:

• WIN, and one of the following...
• Steeles loss and make up 51-point deficit to Steeles:
• Plus make up deficit to Explosion (55) and maintain lead on Hahne if Hahne wins (158)
• Trees loss and make up 81-point deficit to Trees:
• Plus make up deficit to Explosion and maintain lead on Hahne if either wins

HAHNE (5-7; 1,124)

Odds of making playoffs: Less than one-tenth of 1 percent. (It ain't happening)

Average finishing position: 8.3

Highest and lowest possible finish: 6th (technically), 10th 

Week 13 opponent: Fartsicle

What he has to do to make the playoffs:

• WIN, and one of the following...
• Steeles loss and make up 209-point deficit to Steeles:
• Plus make up deficit to Explosion if he wins (213) and Republic if he wins (158)
• Trees loss and make up 239-point deficit to Trees:
• Plus make up deficit to Explosion and Republic if either wins

PRACTICE (4-8; 1,455)

Odds of making playoffs: None.

Average finishing position: 9.5

Week 13 opponent: Trees

Highest and lowest possible finish: 8th, 10th

PSA: Thursday Night Football begins this week

Don't forget, all you Jea Football Leaguers, that this week is the start of Thursday Night Football.

It's Ravens vs. Falcons this Thursday. For you, that means you should make sure your Ravens or Falcons players are where you want them to be, on the bench or on your roster, before that game kicks at 7 p.m. CT.

The waiver process won't change. Waivers already process early Thursday morning anyway.

Good luck!

Gettin' some digits

Finally, we got us some digits! Triple digits, that is.

After last week's embarrassing league showing all around, the responsibility for this week's embarrassment falls squarely on the shoulders of just one team: Team Hahne, who beat his own record for lowest points in a single week (53) with a 50-point day.

The rest of the group, though, did well. We averaged 109.1 points even with Hahne. Take him out of the equation, and our average is 115.7. Nice!

Last week, seven of the 10 teams finished with double digits. This week, seven of the 10 teams finished with triple digits. Another improvement.

A look at the playoff chances tells us that this week's wins for Trees and When put them in great positions. Both teams are 6-3, meaning they hold the keys to their playoff destinies.

In fact, if When and Trees win this week, they're guaranteed a playoff spot.

But even with a win in Week 10, the playoff seeding will be far from locked up. Every playoff team should be gunning for the first two seeds, because those positions mean a bye in the first round and a guarantee that both of your playoff games will have money on the line.

How so? Well, a first-round bye gets you into the semifinals automatically. Win that game, and you're in the championship where the winner gets $100 and the loser gets $60.

Lose in the semifinals, though, and you still get a chance to win some cash. You'll fall to the third-place game where the winner snags $40.

Lose that game, and, well, sorry. Good luck next year.

For some teams, though, just making the playoffs is the goal. Get in, and anything could happen, right? Teams like Hahne, Practice, Ants, Republic, and Explosion have at best a 5 percent chance of making one of those top two seeds. So the goal is getting in any way they can.

For Hahne, that task gets tougher each week he forgets to set a lineup. He's dropped six of his last seven, and those two dominant performances in the first two weeks of the season seem so far away now.

Hahne has looked good in his three wins, scoring 133, 143, and 131 points. But it's those pitiful losses that have to be frustrating for him. In his six losses, he's averaging just 70.7 points.

And then there's the fascinating story of Practice. He's the league's second-best team in terms of total points scored. He trails the leader in that category, Trees, by just one point. But he's also the worst at defense, apparently. Opponents have scored 117.6 points per game against him, on average.

Somehow, though, his average points scored is still higher than his average points allowed: 118.2 to 117.6.

There are five teams whose points scored total exceeds their points against, and Practice is one of them. But, as you can probably guess, he's the only one of the five who wouldn't make the playoffs if the season ended today.

I've been using that whole "if the season ended today" bit for several weeks now. But heads up, people. There are only four games left in the season. That means that there's precious little time for you to turn this boat around.

Practice 133, Republic 125

Though he's tied for the worst record in the league, Practice is one point away from being tied for the league's best team statistically. That last word makes all the difference.

Practice did what he do this week: he scored a lot of points. And his opponent did what Practice's opponents typically do: also score a lot of points.

In fact, Practice's opponent was the highest-scoring losing team from Week 9, something all too familiar for Practice.

Also, it's hard not to mention Brett Favre's return to the Practice lineup after his recent time spent in free agency. That shakeup must've been just what Favre needed, because he scored 23 points (a season high). The problem? He did it on Practice's bench.

Republic's bench scored exactly 0 points. He had five players on bye week and a sixth (Reggie Bush) who was injured. That makes his 125-point day even more impressive, considering that the only players on his team who actually scored points were the 11 he started.

Still, Republic finished as the Hard Luck Loser. (That's the Jea Football League designation for a team that loses while scoring in the top 4 for the week.) Tough luck for Republic, who now sits in 7th in the league standings.



That was really the only close game. The rest were blowouts. Plus I'm also busy at work, so there's not too much time to write more...

But three other things, quickly:

1. Hahne has gone missing again. I already mentioned his 50-point showing, but the reason behind that poor showing was that he started a bye week TE, D/ST and K. Not good, Hahne, not good. But the Screeches thank you for the free win.
2. Two teams going in opposite directions: When and Steeles. Steeles, once a 5-1 powerhouse, has fallen down to earth after three straight losses. Meanwhile, When was 2-3 at one point and has rattled off four straight wins, catapulting him into second place.
3. Want An's digits? Then look at his stat page.

That sinking feeling

You know that feeling you got in high school or college when you walked out of a class, knowing you had aced the big test? Your head is held high, and nothing can bring you down.

You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, well this is the opposite of that.

In a week of lousy performances, pretty much the entire league should be ashamed of itself.

First, the good news: It was the first time all season that no team scored under 80 points.

Now, the bad news: It was the first time this season that the week's leading scorer had less than 132 points. (Fire Ants, yes, those Fire Ants, led all teams with 113 points.)

The average score for the week, 96.3 points per team, was 4 points under our previous low average and nearly 11 points below our season average after eight weeks.

You may want to blame the players on your team for underperforming or you may bemoan the bye weeks, but I choose to blame you (and me, of course).

The bright spots among the five "winning" teams (if you can call them that) would have to be When and Republic. Each team has won three straight games and both are squarely in the playoff hunt.

That means the playoff picture looks like this. If the remaining five weeks of games were decided by coin tosses, eight of the 10 teams would have a better than 57 percent chance of getting in.

That's because those eight teams are all separated by one game. Three teams have 5-3 records, and five have 4-4 records. That's parity, folks!

Let's get to the recaps, starting with the closest game.



When 93, Steeles 83
Team When's owner said it best in the chat board for this matchup: "unfreakingbelievable."

Let me be straight with you here. If a team willingly starts two injured players, one player projected to get 0 points, and only one quarterback, that team shouldn't win.

But don't tell that to Mr. Nguyen; When win when he does just that.

Sure, When became just the second team to have four Club Zero players in one week (Fartsicle did it last week and lost bad). But When did it in style, getting double-digit points from five of the other seven players on his roster.

Even still, 93 points isn't enough to win, right? I mean, Practice has scored more than 93 in seven of eight weeks, and he's 2-6.

Somebody forgot to tell Steeles, who naturally assumed that he'd stomp a seven-player roster. Even ESPN projected him to outscore When by 62 points.

But Steeles did nothing of the sort, and he became the second player to score 60 or more points below his projected total (Hahne scored 77 under projected in his Week 3 meltdown).

What went wrong for Steeles? He had two Club Zero players of his own, poor quarterback play, and a combined six points from his three starting receivers not named Andre Johnson.

It's a bummer for Steeles, but hey, he still makes the playoffs 88 out of 100 times, according to projections.



Explosion 107, Practice 96
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again: You have to feel bad for Practice.

As we seem to do every week, let's compare 10th-place Practice with first-place Trees.

Trees points scored: 943 (highest in league)
Practice points scored: 931 (second-highest in league)

Trees points against: 738 (lowest in league)
Practice points against: 933 (highest in league)

Notice the difference there? Let me do the math for you. There's a thin, 12-point gap in points scored but a gaping 195-point gap in points against. That's more than 24 points per week, folks.

Give Trees' schedule to Practice, and Practice would have five wins, not two.
Give Practice's schedule to Trees, and Trees would have four wins, not five.

Conclusion? Trees is just plain good, and Practice is just plain unlucky.

A silver lining for Practice, though. He gets the award for oldest starting quarterback tandem. Favre and Kitna's combined age is a whopping 79. Their combined point total? Less whopping: 21.

I'm running out of time for this matchup. Am I forgetting anything? Oh, yeah: Nice job, Explosion.



Republic 96, Hahne 84
As I said in the open, let's tip our caps to Republic, who has now won three in a row. Hahne, meanwhile has lost five of his past 6 games and sits in ninth place -- right above Practice, who has outscored him by 140 points.

Republic has had his share of bad luck, though. Last week, his leading scorer, Kenny Britt, left his 44 points on the bench. This week, he starts Britt, who gets injured and finished with zero.

Last week, Republic started Green-Ellis, who had 8. This week, Green-Ellis had 25 on the bench.

Neither move cost Republic the week, but those precious points lost could come back to haunt him later.

As for Hahne, he could've moved Witten or Sproles into starting position and won. But Hahne still has a solid team, and his starting quarterback pair (P. Manning and Fitzpatrick) looks strong.



Ants 113, Trees 93
[Insert bad nature joke]

Haha, am I right? Ants and Trees? Get it?

Anyway, how about those... Detroit Lions? Yep, those Detroit Lions helped Ants earn 45 of his 113 points thanks to 29 from Calvin Johnson and 16 from the defense. And don't look now, but Ants has recovered from his 0-3 start to a respectable 4-4 record. He's in the hunt!

Meanwhile, traditional fantasy powerhouses Adrian Peterson and T.O. got theirs, combining for 38 points, but the rest of the Trees just didn't show up, resulting in the team's first sub-100 day since Week 1.

That means every team has had at least two sub-100 days except... Explosion! His 85-point Week 1 performance remains his only double-digit day.


Fartsicle 112, Screech 86
Screech got stuffed in a locker for the second week in a row, scoring a personal season low and becoming the last team to break the 90-point... floor?

For Fart, it was all David Garrard, all the time. If Garrard had scored his average, 12 points, instead of a whopping 32 points against the Cowboys, this would've been a much closer game. But Fart still would've won, as he got it done during a low week for the league.

He even won despite starting an injured kicker and despite many of his players being on bye week.

Am I bitter? Yep!



Random Observation
Four of the 10 starting tight ends in the JFL in Week 8 finished with 0 points.



Final thoughts
Crap! I lost!



Post-final thoughts
Check out the record week for Club Zero, An's Stat Page, Playoff Odds, etc. Just use the navbar at the top of the page.

Thanks for reading!

Whatever you do, do not look down

The days of bullying the worst teams in the league are over. The bottom-dwellers are back, and revenge is what they crave.

Each of the four lowest-ranked teams coming into Week 7 won this week, shaking up the standings and calling into question the very notion of the term "crappy team." Even Hahne, loser of four straight, came back and showed that he's not ready to just donate his $20 to the league pot.

We have passed the halfway point of the season, folks, and with seven of 13 games played, just three games separate first from last in the standings. And when last place has scored the second-most points in the league, it's time for those on top to fear what's below.

Even Trees and Steeles, who sit atop the league with five wins each, aren't running away with the league at this point. In fact, no team has a winning or losing streak of more than two games right now, which tells me that there's a lot of football left to be played (while we watch and count the yards and touchdowns amassed by the real athletes, of course).

Let's take a look at playoff chances for a second. If every remaining game was decided by flipping a coin (and, let's be honest, it does feel that way some times), Practice would have the lowest chance of getting in, 19 percent. All nine remaining teams would have at least a 47 percent chance of getting in. That means nobody is out of it at this point. And if Practice beats Explosion this week, Practice's chance of getting into the playoffs automatically jumps to 30 percent.

Let's dive into the matchups, shall we? We'll start with the game that didn't have the highest scores but did have the most exciting finish.

When 109, Ants 96


Tony Romo's left clavicle. That one bone may have been the difference between winning and losing for Ants. If Romo stays in there, maybe Ants gets a few more touchdown passes. And if that happens, maybe it keeps Eli Manning off the field longer and reduces When's score.

But as they say, "Maybe ain't good enough in horseshoes."

All things considered, this was an entertaining game, especially because the two teams had a total of five active players in the Monday night game. One game will decide it all, Harry Potter.

When got great production from E. Manning (23) and Joe Flacco (20), and Ants saw 22 points from newly acquired Steve Johnson (who?).

Things are looking good for the 4-3 Team When, who has won two straight and is now in fourth place. But he has seven players on bye this week, including two quarterbacks, and he plays the second-place Steeles. In other words, things aren't looking good for Team When.

Things aren't looking too promising for Ants, either. He plays the first-place Trees next, his top quarterback (Romo) is out for six to eight weeks, and his QB2 (Cutler) is on bye. Good luck!

Trees 159, Fartsicle 79


Trees: "Looks like I'm playing you this week, little bro."
Fartsicle: "Because you're such a great big bro I'm going to start two players who are inactive and one who is on bye week. Are you proud of me?"
Trees: "What? Oh, sorry, I didn't catch that. I was too busy counting how many players will score in double digits for me this week. I keep losing count."


I assume the pre-Week 7 conversation between real-life brothers Trees and Fartsicle went something like that.

Yes, Fartsicle started three players who were projected to get 0 points (one because he was on bye). And yes, it wouldn't have mattered anyway because Trees was the week's leading scorer.

Does Trees have an easy schedule? Yes, the easiest. Has Trees let that embarrassingly easy schedule affect his own performance? Nope. He has scored the highest points per game (121). It's hard to lose when you've got those kind of numbers.

But it's always fun to dream about having a schedule that lets you play the lowest-scoring team four of the seven weeks of the season so far. What would your record be with Trees' schedule? Let's find out, going from the bottom of the standings up. The numbers are Wins-Losses-Ties, of course. The team's actual record is in parentheses.

Practice: 5-1-1 (2-5)

Republic: 4-2-1 (3-4)

Ants: 5-2-0 (3-4)

Fartsicle: 3-3-1 (3-4)

Hahne: 4-2-1 (3-4)

Explosion: 4-2-1 (3-4)

When: 4-2-1 (4-3)

Screech: 5-1-1 (4-3)

Steeles: 6-1-0 (5-2)

Again, Trees has no control over his opponents' points (unless that opponent is his brother! I kid, I kid). But it's always fun to dream!

Let me get back to Fartsicle's 79 points for a second. It's time for an Official Bryan Rant. Sure, it's understandable to forget to look at your roster once in the course of a week. Internet access is tough to find these days. I get that.

But let's remember two things. First, every result affects more than just the two teams in the matchup. With standings being as close as they are, every game matters. In other words, I was people were counting on you to beat Trees this week!

Second, because the first tiebreaker for playoff seeding is total points scored, you want to grab every point you can from every week, even the losses. Take a look at this shocking stat: Farsicle and Hahne each are 3-4. Fartsicle trails Hahne by just four points in the standings.

If the playoffs started today, Hahne would be in as the sixth seed, and Fartsicle would be out. Thanks for playing, send us your $20, Fartsicle.

Four measly points. Fartsicle's backup TE Hernandez scored five points. The TE he started, Keller, was on bye. If Fartsicle had made that one roster switch, he would be in playoff position.

Again, I'm ranting, and it might not even matter. But that's a stirring reminder to all of us that every point counts!

Republic 132, Screech 111


In the Week 5 recap, I wrote, "Republic is in last place, but there's some definite promise on his bench that says he could turn things around."

I hate it when I'm right. He definitely has turned it around, winning two in a row now and with signs of more to come. In fact, there's even more promise on his bench in the form of Kenny Britt, who I drafted  in the 17th round and later dropped. Oops!

Britt scored 44 points and was on Republic's bench (Oops!), meaning this 21-point win could've easily been much worse.

Now, Republic is still out of the playoffs if the season ended today, and his team has scored a league-low 98 points per game. But good things could be in Republic's future.

As for Screech, things weren't terrible for me, seeing as I did score in the top half of all teams this week. But too many 3- and 4-point days from key players just won't get it done. But because what I say on the blog apparently comes true, let me say this: Screech will score 150+ points in Week 8 and will beat Fartsicle!

Practice 151, Steeles 107


Once again, Steeles doesn't get production from Chris Johnson and Matt Forte, and Steeles loses. In the Steeles' two losses this season, the running back tandem has combined for 6 and 11 points. That meant that even Darren McFadden's eye-popping 46 points were wasted thanks to unproductive days by Johnson and Forte.

If those two had gotten their average weekly point total (16 and 14), that would've added 19 more points to Steeles' score, and he would've... still lost. OK, so maybe that trend is more of a coincidence than an actual trend.

Yes, Practice had a banner day. After an 84-point showing in Week 6, he nearly doubled that and is again in the win column. The league's last-place team has scored the second-most points in the league and still has nothing to show for it... so far.

Though Practice surely hopes this 151-point total is the sign of good things to come, he can't like the news out of the Brett Favre camp about the elderly quarterback's left ankle. Even if Favre can play, is he worth starting anymore? He's averaging 7.5 fantasy points per game, he's only scored in double digits once this season, and he's like 100 years old. Twenty-seven other quarterbacks are better fantasy QBs than Favre. Eek.

Hahne 130, Explosion 100


Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome back Team Hahne! Hahne's 53-point meltdown in Week 3 apparently sent his team into a deep, monthlong hibernation. He lost four straight before bouncing back in a big way to put 130 on the scoreboard.

Yes, kids, you can lose four games in a row and still be in playoff contention. Thanks to Fartsicle, Hahne would be in the playoffs if the season ended today. I think the real key for Hahne this week was not starting any bye week players or players who were inactive for the game. But I'm no expert.

What I can tell you is that the Club Zero leader coming into Week 7 didn't have any 0-point or negative-point performances this week. Nice!

He did get great value out of Ryan Fitzpatrick (him?) and the Redskins D/ST (them?). Those two fantasy sleepers combined for 52 points. With four players, including Peyton Manning, on bye for Team Hahne, a win in Week 7 was no easy feat, so color me impressed.

As for Explosion, it's hard to argue with a 100-point day. He made many of the right moves, but they just didn't pay off. He benched Lee Evans against Baltimore. Smart move, but Evans got 29 points, perhaps out of spite.

He started the Saints defense, playing at home against Cleveland. Again, I would've done the same, but the D actually lost Explosion three points. Smart moves aren't always the right move, apparently.

Final thought

It might be cliche to say this, but you can't win them all, you win some, you lose some, and with teams rising from the depths of the ashes like a phoenix to break through the glass ceiling, there are no easy victories, only small actors.

Stats


Don't forget that An's stat page totally rocks.

Some guys have none of the luck

When I clicked "generate schedule" on the ESPN site months ago, I didn't know what kind of misery I would cause.

The computer randomly paired our 10 teams into 13 weeks worth of matchups, and nobody knew at the time that it would place We talkin' 'bout Practice? into a practically impossible schedule.

That's why, after five weeks of Jea Football, Practice has scored the second-most points in the league but sits in second-to-last place.

According to An's stat page, Practice's Rank average is 7.2, which is the best in the league. Essentially, that means that only three teams score better than Practice in an average week. Good, right?

But then look at his opponent rank, 7.8, also highest in the league. Combine those numbers with some bad luck, and you've got a 1-4 record.

Not only did Practice lose for the fourth time, he did so in what turned out to be the weekly Game of the Year. Let's relive the suffering, shall we?

Fartsicle 117, Practice 115


It's common practice to be slightly leery of starting your QB against your defense. After all, each touchdown scored by your QB eats away at your defense's score. So you can't blame Practice for not starting Brett Favre, especially after the guy's 17 combined points in his first three games.

But despite the game starting well past his bedtime, Favre proved he can still get double-digit fantasy points. And if Practice had started the elder statesman over his Monday night opponent, Mark Sanchez, Practice would've won.

A defensive touchdown by the Jets proves that you can have a big day for your defense and the quarterback they're facing. Each had 16 points.

But not starting Favre almost worked in Practice's favor on the last play of the game. With the Vikings trailing by 9, Favre let loose one of his trademarked Hail Mary passes into the endzone. Two Jets defenders touched it before it fell to the ground incomplete. If either had held on, that would've meant two more points for the Jets D/ST and a tie for Practice. (If Favre had started with Practice down by 2, the interception thrown and caught would've been a wash in fantasy points, of course.)

Fartsicle did just enough to win despite leaving a ton of points on the bench. His optimal lineup, which would have required four roster switches, would've given him 32 more points. He probably won't mind, though, as he got his second win in a row.

Explosion 120, Screech 96


Explosion laughs at the thought of two wins in a row. He's got three! After starting 0-2, will Explosion ever lose again? Not if he keeps scoring points at an impressive rate. He's the league's leading scorer and is averaging 122 points per game. He hasn't come anywhere close to scoring in the double-digits since his 85 in Week 1. Couple that with the fact that opponents are scoring just 94.2 points per game against him, and you've got a recipe for success!

How has Explosion scored so many points? Two words: quarterback consistency. While some teams look at the waivers each week for their next quarterback, Explosion doesn't even give the position a second glance. Look at the points through each of the first five weeks:

Philip Rivers: 21, 24, 26, 17, 26
Kyle Orton: 14, 21, 26, 21, 25

The two are first and third in total QB points so far this season. Nice. Just hope you play Explosion in their bye weeks, Weeks 9 or 10, when he'll be forced to pick up a third QB.

As for Screech, I don't want to talk about it, OK?! But I will say that when a team's leading scorer is the defense, it's not going to be pretty. Screech's first sub-100 week means that all 10 teams have now finished with double digits in at least one week.

Steeles 126, Republic 101

The difference between the Steeles' Week 4 loss and his Week 5 win isn't anything revolutionary. It's just simple math. If Chris Johnson + Matt Forte = a lot of points, Steeles win. If CJ + MF = 6 points, Steeles lose.

After a 78-point performance last week, Steeles is back in the win column thanks entirely to that tandem.

Week 4 without CJ and MF: 72 points
Week 5 without CJ and MF: 67 points

In other words, the other nine players on the Steeles performed about the same from Week 4 to Week 5, but the elite running back tandem really showed up when Steeles needed it most, combining for 59.

On the other side of the ball, Republic had his second 100-plus week but really could've used those 30 points from Brandon Lloyd or 17 points from Marcedes Lewis while both sat on the bench.

Republic is in last place, but there's some definite promise on his bench that says he could turn things around, even if his playoff odds are about 25 percent.

Ants 121, Hahne 105


This matchup finished with two teams going in the opposite direction. Ants won his second in a row, while Hahne dropped his third straight. The result is two 2-3 teams that are pretty similar on paper, actually.

If the playoffs started today, Hahne would occupy the sixth and final playoff spot, while Ants would be the best team left out. He trails Hahne in total points scored by just 15 points.

Fifteen points can be a single roster move, reminding all of us that every decision could be the difference between a playoff spot and an early end to the JFL season. The first tiebreaker for playoff spots is total points scored, so don't be afraid to "run up the score" when you can!

This was a solid week for Ants, who had four players on bye and an injured QB2. Ants had two nice pickups this week, Josh Freeman, who had a solid 15, and Sebastian Janikowski, who booted in a cool 11.

I got onto Hahne last week for starting two players on bye week. This week, each of his three bye week players was on the bench where they belong. But a disappointing performance from Peyton Manning (7)  and his Chargers D/ST (minus-4) made for another loss.

Trees 132, When 78


The blowout of the week pitted Week 5's highest and lowest scorers against eachother. Not a very compelling game, so that's why I put it last. For Trees, two 0-point performances essentially left him with nine players. (By the way, Trees had been the only team without any members of Club Zero. That ends this week in a big way.) But no matter, Trees still managed 132 points, or 14.7 points each for those nine productive players.

Trees spread the love around, too, with four players finishing with 18 points or more.

And then there's When, who once again is left searching for a breakout player -- that one player who wins the week all by himself. Last week, When's leading scorer had 17 points. This week, it was 19.

Finally, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't mention that Rams defense. A trendy pick this week against the historically bad Lions, the Rams gave up 44 points and finished with a putrid minus-6, the lowest score for a single player in Jea Football League history.

Other notes

For more stats than you'll know what to do with, check out An's stat page, already updated with fresh numbers from Week 5. 

Thinking about playoff chances? If all remaining games were decided by flipping a coin, our two 4-1 teams, Steeles and Trees, would be in the playoffs better than nine times out of 10. You can look at all that here. 

Finally, put on your parka and visit Club Zero, a graveyard of sorts for the players who score 0 points (or less--yikes!). Hahne is now all alone at the top with six Club Zero members, while Screech is at the bottom with one.

Wide around the middle

After four weeks of Jea Football League action, every team has at least one win, and every team has at least one loss.

That means that just two games separate the three 3-1 teams at the top of the standings from the three 1-3 teams at the bottom.

Then there's that wide middle, the four 2-2 teams who haven't quite figured out where their season will go. There's Explosion, winner of two in a row and the league's top scorer (by just five points). And then there's Hahne, so impressive in the first two weeks but quite literally missing since.

Still, with nine games left to play before the start of playoffs, anything can happen.

Week 4's games were pretty dull, with the lone exception being the Practice-Green Trees game. Even that was pretty much decided going into Monday night (Brandon Marshall would've needed to grab 16 points to tie). In each of the other four matchups, the winners had a triple-digit score while the losers finished with totals in the 70s.

Several of the top individual performers apparently thought it was still 2006. Gates, LT, and TO had 27, 28, and 32 points, respectively. But alone at the top was the fantasy newcomer Arian Foster, who tallied a nice 33 points after sitting out for the first quarter. That helped lead Practice? to its first win.

We talkin' 'bout Practice? Yes, and he begins our Week 4 recap:

Practice? 133, Trees 121


After losing two games in which he scored the second- and third-most points of the week, Practice? was probably wondering if a win would ever come. Really, there's only one way to ensure a win in head-to-head fantasy football: score the most points in a single week. Well, that's just what Practice? did, scoring 133 and making Trees the week's Hard-Luck Loser. That's a new JFL term to describe a team that lost while scoring in the top four for the week.

Trees would have beaten seven of the other teams in the league.

But Trees, who still has the league's easiest schedule so far, finally had an opponent score more than 85 points, and it came back to bite him.

The cynic might say that Trees would've won if Adrian Peterson wasn't on bye week (Laurence Maroney got 1 point as his replacement), but let's just be glad that Practice?, the league's second-leading scorer, finally got a win. It's only fair.

Ants 101, Republic 72


The other 0-3 team going into Week 3, Ants, also snagged his first win of the season. Ants has scored the second-lowest number points in the league, but his opponents have scored the second-highest number of points. That's a recipe for some tough losses, but this week was the first exception.

He ran into Republic, who has the league's lowest average score (83.25) after four weeks. Some tough performances from quarterbacks have really hurt Republic so far.

Ants and Republic each had quarterbacks finish with negative totals. Cutler had a minus-3 before leaving with a concussion, and Anderson had a minus-2 before being benched. If that wasn't enough, Ants bye week running back Lynch had eight yards and a fumble for a minus-2.

But nice days from Jones-Drew (24) and Calvin Johnson (20) helped Ants get a win during top QB Romo's bye week.

Fartsicle 128, Hahne 72

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Remember Weeks 1 and 2 when Hahne scored 133 and 143 points? He was the leading scorer each of the first two weeks and looked unstoppable. Then something happened in Week 3. I don't know what it was, but his team stopped showing up.

Last week, he started a player who was inactive on his way to finishing at 53 points, the lowest total in Jea Football League history.

This week, he tied for the week low with 72 points. The culprit this time wasn't a late scratch but two starters on bye week! We can assume that he didn't check ESPN even once in the past week. That means chances are good he won't be reading this blog, either. But just in case: WAKE UP, HAHNE!

But seriously, inactive owners are no fun, and we miss you, Hahne. So if you or someone you know is friends with Hahne, please remind him to check out his roster once a week to move bye week players to the bench. Well, unless he doesn't care about the fate of his $20 entry fee. If that's the case, keep on doing what you're doing!

Would it have mattered in Week 4, though? Probably not, because Fartsicle had a solid 128 points to grab his second win and finish in second in points for the week.

Explosion 115, Steeles 78


Steeles' streak of 110+ points per week ended in Week 4 thanks to an implosion at the running back positon. With WR1 Andre Johnson already on the Steeles bench with an injury, the vaunted Steeles running backs weren't much help. They combined for 18 points.

The good news for Steeles, though, might be on the QB front. He finally had a QB2 score in double digits (Gradkowski, 14). In fact, his QB3 for the week, Kevin Kolb, also scored in double digits (12) on the bench. Kolb will be the Week 5 starter, so things could be looking up.

Meanwhile, Explosion followed up his 174-point outburst last week with another triple-digit day, helping pull him out of the funk that emanated from his 0-2 start to the season. He's now the the league's top scorer and the highest-ranked 2-2 team.

Screech 110, When 79


LT is back! The 11th-round draft pick scored 28 points to lead Screech to a victory. And thanks to Trees' loss to Practice?, the Screech is now in first place. True, only eight points separate first and third, but still!

So far, the Screech has been the most consistent team through four weeks, for whatever that's worth. Points so far: 117, 107, 116, 110. But that could easily change with bye weeks now here in full force, so don't get cocky, Screech!

For When, it was a disappointing week in which just three of his starters scored double digits, and the leading scorer only had 17.

Other notes

• For more stats than you'll know what to do with, check out An's stat page, already updated with fresh numbers from Week 4. 
• It's way too early to think about playoff chances, but let's do it anyway. If all remaining games were decided by flipping a coin, the three 3-1 teams would have about an 82 percent shot at making the playoffs, while the 1-3 teams would get in about 36 percent of the time. You can look at all that here. 
• Finally, put on your parka and visit Club Zero, a graveyard of sorts for the players who score 0 points (or less--yikes!). 

They've made a huge mistake

Five teams will consider Week 3 "the one that got away."

In the case of two of the matchups, a 93- and a 73-point blowout, it was the one that got really far away really fast.

But in the other three contests, each of the losers could've won if they had made a single roster switch. That's the case many weeks, of course, but it's hard for the losers not to think that they've made a huge mistake.

Let's look at the numbers.

Republic 101, Fartsicle 88


Team Fartsicle is your clubhouse leader in the battle for "Worst Roster Move of the Season." He picked up a new tight end, Dustin Keller, and had nearly four full days to make two clicks and add Keller to his active roster. But, inexplicably, Keller sat on the Fartsicle bench all weekend. He didn't sit on the Jets' bench, though. He went for 98 yards and two scores, which was good enough for 21 points. Add 21 points to Fartsicle's score, and he's won the week. Oops!

On the other side of the matchup, Republic scored enough to snag his first victory, even though the two top scorers on his team (Benson and Cassel) combined for 42 points...on the bench.

Explosion 174, Ants 81

If Fartsicle hadn't left his TE spot empty, his score would've been much higher. If Ants hadn't left his D/ST spot empty, his score would've been slightly lower!

Yes, the "Move of the Week" could be Ants picking up the Dolphins defense and then keeping them on the bench while they finished with minus-2 points. Now that's the way to stay out of Club Zero.

It wouldn't have mattered either way, though, as even Ants' combined bench and starters would've lost to Explosion by 67. Or look at it this way: take Explosion's three top scorers for the week (Collie, Wallace, and either QB) and bench everyone else. That game would've been closer, but Explosion's three starters still would've beaten Ants' 10 starters, 83-81.

Trees 126, Hahne 53


Do you like battles between unbeaten teams? How about dull, lopsided victories? Well then you probably enjoyed Trees-Hahne about as much as you loved Steelers-Bucs.

It's tough to figure out this Hahne team. He was the league's leading scorer in each of the first two weeks, and then he sets the Jea Football League record for lowest single-week scorer (previous low: 64). Ouch. Part of it was his own fault, though. He started Jerome Harrison, who was inactive because of injury. And that minus-3 from the Bucs' defense didn't help much, either.

The rest of it was just consistent suckiness from his entire team. Look at these numbers from his running backs, receivers, and tight end: 2, 3, 0, 2, 2, 2, 2. That's gonna make things difficult. His lone bright spot was from Peyton Manning, who scored nearly half of the team's points (26). Oh, and while we're piling on here, know that Hahne's bench outscored his starters, 54-53.

For Trees, victory came easily despite benching Anquan Boldin (33 points). Trees is one of only two remaining unbeaten teams. (Steeles is the other). But how can Trees be 3-0 when he's sixth in the league in points scored? He has the easiest schedule in the league so far. Opponents are averaging 67.3 points per week against him. The team with the next highest opponent point total is the other 3-0 team, Steeles, whose foes are averaging 92.3 points per game. Ah, the joys of head-to-head fantasy football!

Steeles 119, Screech 115


Now here is how a battle between unbeaten teams is supposed to go down. Well, I would've preferred to win, of course, but this one came down to the final minutes of the Monday night game.

Sure, I could've started Matt Ryan (19 points) instead of Sam Bradford (11), but where's the fun in that? Going into Monday night with a 10-point lead, I knew anything could happen. Steeles needed to outscore me by 11 to win, and he ended up with 14 more Monday night points, thanks mainly to a 10-point night from Johnny Knox.

But it was up for grabs as Green Bay drove down the field, needing a field goal to take the lead. That would've meant points for my kicker, Mason Crosby. Instead, the Packers fumble and give the ball to Chicago, which orchestrated a drive that set up a field goal for his kicker. That's a 6-plus point swing that truly was the difference. Good game!

Meanwhile, the Steeles quarterback controversy continues. After two straight weeks of 0 points from his QB2, his third QB2, Josh Freeman, got him 6 points. Freeman's on bye for Week 4, so he'll be dropped for a fourth different Steeles quarterback. Stay tuned.

When 136, Practice 128

The other really good game of the week was the sibling rivalry between When and Practice. "When Practice?" "I dunno, ask coach."

Like me, Practice could've swapped his benched quarterback (Flacco) for his low-scoring starting QB and won the week. But Brett Favre against the Lions seems like a good matchup on paper, so you can't blame him for the fact that Favre only had 8 points.

Practice starts the season 0-3, and you can't say he isn't trying. Instead, blame unfortunate scheduling. A quick look at An's stat page shows that Practice has had the second-toughest schedule so far (Ants has the toughest). That means that Practice has a team that's better than his 0-3 record suggests. In Week 1, he played the team that scored the most points, while he scored the second-most. And in Week 3, he played the team that finished second in scoring for the week, while he finished third.

Meanwhile, big bro (When) got a solid win and sits near the middle of the pack for most statistical categories.

What's next


The byes are here! We've seen empty roster spots that could've helped or hurt a team, but now we get to find out which team will be the first to start someone who's on bye!

Club Zero

Rather than keep this post going on even longer, check out the latest Club Zero additions here.

That was close!

In Week 1, three matchups finished with a spread of five points or less. Week 2 wasn't as exciting as none of the five contests finished within single digits.

Two games were decided by exactly 11 points. The other three had an average margin of victory of 49 points. Ouch!

Don't forget to check out An's stat page, updated each week.

Let's make some random comments about each matchup, starting with my own.

Screech 107, Practice? 96


After scoring the second-most points in the league in Week 1, it was looking like Practice? would finish as one of the lowest scorers in Week 2. Then Frank Gore came along. The Man in San Fran needed to outscore Drew Brees by 23 points to secure a win for Practice?, but that didn't happen. Practice? got stellar value out of his new "second" QB, Michael Vick (24 points), but his top QB Brett Favre (1 point) was a non-factor. Can Practice? bounce back in Week 3 with Vick on the bench?

Steeles 130, Ants 84


When five of your six RB/WR slots are filled with single-digit point totals, it's tough to win. That was the case for Ants, who saw another disappointing day from keeper Maurice Jones-Drew (2 points). For a portrait of consistency, though, check out those Ants QBs. Both Tony Romo (15 points) and Jay Cutler (23 points) had the exact same totals in Week 2 that they had in Week 1. A cool 38 points per week from QBs is pretty solid. However, Steeles nearly got that many from his one QB, Matt Schaub (31 points), but an injury to Dennis Dixon (0 points) likely prevented a week-leading total from Steeles, who finished in second for the week, behind...

Hahne 143, When 86


I thought you two were friends. Hahne, is that how you treat a friend, with a 57-point beatdown? When's leading scorer was his defense with a nice 22-point showing from Pittsburgh. There wasn't much help on the rest of his roster, though. Same goes for the bench. In fact, if When could've started his entire roster, including his bench players, he still would have lost by 28 points. Hahne, meanwhile, rode Jahvid Best's week-leading 43 points to another victory. Hahne is at the top of the standings with a 138 points-per-game average.

Fartsicle 127, Explosion 116


The other close contest was Fartsicle's win over Explosion. But when you look at Fartsicle's bench, it's apparent that he was winning this week regardless. On his bench he had a QB with 15 points, an RB with 20, and a WR with 17. If he had subbed in each of those players for the lower-scoring starters, he would've gained an additional 44 points! As it was, he still had enough to finish with the third-highest score. Explosion, meanwhile, couldn't get it done with a team that basically consisted of two quarterbacks and a tight end. Those three were responsible for more than half of Explosion's points.

Trees 108, Republic 64


Some quarterback tandems help you win. Others belong to Rock'n'Republic, apparently. His two QBs combined for minus-1 points in Week 2, with Vince Young scoring minus-3 before being benched. He's been named the Titans' starter for Week 3, but will Republic ever trust him again? Trees, meanwhile, finished with another low-point win. For the second week in a row, Trees finished in the bottom half of the scoring but still came away with the win.