Whatever you do, do not look down

The days of bullying the worst teams in the league are over. The bottom-dwellers are back, and revenge is what they crave.

Each of the four lowest-ranked teams coming into Week 7 won this week, shaking up the standings and calling into question the very notion of the term "crappy team." Even Hahne, loser of four straight, came back and showed that he's not ready to just donate his $20 to the league pot.

We have passed the halfway point of the season, folks, and with seven of 13 games played, just three games separate first from last in the standings. And when last place has scored the second-most points in the league, it's time for those on top to fear what's below.

Even Trees and Steeles, who sit atop the league with five wins each, aren't running away with the league at this point. In fact, no team has a winning or losing streak of more than two games right now, which tells me that there's a lot of football left to be played (while we watch and count the yards and touchdowns amassed by the real athletes, of course).

Let's take a look at playoff chances for a second. If every remaining game was decided by flipping a coin (and, let's be honest, it does feel that way some times), Practice would have the lowest chance of getting in, 19 percent. All nine remaining teams would have at least a 47 percent chance of getting in. That means nobody is out of it at this point. And if Practice beats Explosion this week, Practice's chance of getting into the playoffs automatically jumps to 30 percent.

Let's dive into the matchups, shall we? We'll start with the game that didn't have the highest scores but did have the most exciting finish.

When 109, Ants 96


Tony Romo's left clavicle. That one bone may have been the difference between winning and losing for Ants. If Romo stays in there, maybe Ants gets a few more touchdown passes. And if that happens, maybe it keeps Eli Manning off the field longer and reduces When's score.

But as they say, "Maybe ain't good enough in horseshoes."

All things considered, this was an entertaining game, especially because the two teams had a total of five active players in the Monday night game. One game will decide it all, Harry Potter.

When got great production from E. Manning (23) and Joe Flacco (20), and Ants saw 22 points from newly acquired Steve Johnson (who?).

Things are looking good for the 4-3 Team When, who has won two straight and is now in fourth place. But he has seven players on bye this week, including two quarterbacks, and he plays the second-place Steeles. In other words, things aren't looking good for Team When.

Things aren't looking too promising for Ants, either. He plays the first-place Trees next, his top quarterback (Romo) is out for six to eight weeks, and his QB2 (Cutler) is on bye. Good luck!

Trees 159, Fartsicle 79


Trees: "Looks like I'm playing you this week, little bro."
Fartsicle: "Because you're such a great big bro I'm going to start two players who are inactive and one who is on bye week. Are you proud of me?"
Trees: "What? Oh, sorry, I didn't catch that. I was too busy counting how many players will score in double digits for me this week. I keep losing count."


I assume the pre-Week 7 conversation between real-life brothers Trees and Fartsicle went something like that.

Yes, Fartsicle started three players who were projected to get 0 points (one because he was on bye). And yes, it wouldn't have mattered anyway because Trees was the week's leading scorer.

Does Trees have an easy schedule? Yes, the easiest. Has Trees let that embarrassingly easy schedule affect his own performance? Nope. He has scored the highest points per game (121). It's hard to lose when you've got those kind of numbers.

But it's always fun to dream about having a schedule that lets you play the lowest-scoring team four of the seven weeks of the season so far. What would your record be with Trees' schedule? Let's find out, going from the bottom of the standings up. The numbers are Wins-Losses-Ties, of course. The team's actual record is in parentheses.

Practice: 5-1-1 (2-5)

Republic: 4-2-1 (3-4)

Ants: 5-2-0 (3-4)

Fartsicle: 3-3-1 (3-4)

Hahne: 4-2-1 (3-4)

Explosion: 4-2-1 (3-4)

When: 4-2-1 (4-3)

Screech: 5-1-1 (4-3)

Steeles: 6-1-0 (5-2)

Again, Trees has no control over his opponents' points (unless that opponent is his brother! I kid, I kid). But it's always fun to dream!

Let me get back to Fartsicle's 79 points for a second. It's time for an Official Bryan Rant. Sure, it's understandable to forget to look at your roster once in the course of a week. Internet access is tough to find these days. I get that.

But let's remember two things. First, every result affects more than just the two teams in the matchup. With standings being as close as they are, every game matters. In other words, I was people were counting on you to beat Trees this week!

Second, because the first tiebreaker for playoff seeding is total points scored, you want to grab every point you can from every week, even the losses. Take a look at this shocking stat: Farsicle and Hahne each are 3-4. Fartsicle trails Hahne by just four points in the standings.

If the playoffs started today, Hahne would be in as the sixth seed, and Fartsicle would be out. Thanks for playing, send us your $20, Fartsicle.

Four measly points. Fartsicle's backup TE Hernandez scored five points. The TE he started, Keller, was on bye. If Fartsicle had made that one roster switch, he would be in playoff position.

Again, I'm ranting, and it might not even matter. But that's a stirring reminder to all of us that every point counts!

Republic 132, Screech 111


In the Week 5 recap, I wrote, "Republic is in last place, but there's some definite promise on his bench that says he could turn things around."

I hate it when I'm right. He definitely has turned it around, winning two in a row now and with signs of more to come. In fact, there's even more promise on his bench in the form of Kenny Britt, who I drafted  in the 17th round and later dropped. Oops!

Britt scored 44 points and was on Republic's bench (Oops!), meaning this 21-point win could've easily been much worse.

Now, Republic is still out of the playoffs if the season ended today, and his team has scored a league-low 98 points per game. But good things could be in Republic's future.

As for Screech, things weren't terrible for me, seeing as I did score in the top half of all teams this week. But too many 3- and 4-point days from key players just won't get it done. But because what I say on the blog apparently comes true, let me say this: Screech will score 150+ points in Week 8 and will beat Fartsicle!

Practice 151, Steeles 107


Once again, Steeles doesn't get production from Chris Johnson and Matt Forte, and Steeles loses. In the Steeles' two losses this season, the running back tandem has combined for 6 and 11 points. That meant that even Darren McFadden's eye-popping 46 points were wasted thanks to unproductive days by Johnson and Forte.

If those two had gotten their average weekly point total (16 and 14), that would've added 19 more points to Steeles' score, and he would've... still lost. OK, so maybe that trend is more of a coincidence than an actual trend.

Yes, Practice had a banner day. After an 84-point showing in Week 6, he nearly doubled that and is again in the win column. The league's last-place team has scored the second-most points in the league and still has nothing to show for it... so far.

Though Practice surely hopes this 151-point total is the sign of good things to come, he can't like the news out of the Brett Favre camp about the elderly quarterback's left ankle. Even if Favre can play, is he worth starting anymore? He's averaging 7.5 fantasy points per game, he's only scored in double digits once this season, and he's like 100 years old. Twenty-seven other quarterbacks are better fantasy QBs than Favre. Eek.

Hahne 130, Explosion 100


Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome back Team Hahne! Hahne's 53-point meltdown in Week 3 apparently sent his team into a deep, monthlong hibernation. He lost four straight before bouncing back in a big way to put 130 on the scoreboard.

Yes, kids, you can lose four games in a row and still be in playoff contention. Thanks to Fartsicle, Hahne would be in the playoffs if the season ended today. I think the real key for Hahne this week was not starting any bye week players or players who were inactive for the game. But I'm no expert.

What I can tell you is that the Club Zero leader coming into Week 7 didn't have any 0-point or negative-point performances this week. Nice!

He did get great value out of Ryan Fitzpatrick (him?) and the Redskins D/ST (them?). Those two fantasy sleepers combined for 52 points. With four players, including Peyton Manning, on bye for Team Hahne, a win in Week 7 was no easy feat, so color me impressed.

As for Explosion, it's hard to argue with a 100-point day. He made many of the right moves, but they just didn't pay off. He benched Lee Evans against Baltimore. Smart move, but Evans got 29 points, perhaps out of spite.

He started the Saints defense, playing at home against Cleveland. Again, I would've done the same, but the D actually lost Explosion three points. Smart moves aren't always the right move, apparently.

Final thought

It might be cliche to say this, but you can't win them all, you win some, you lose some, and with teams rising from the depths of the ashes like a phoenix to break through the glass ceiling, there are no easy victories, only small actors.

Stats


Don't forget that An's stat page totally rocks.

Some guys have none of the luck

When I clicked "generate schedule" on the ESPN site months ago, I didn't know what kind of misery I would cause.

The computer randomly paired our 10 teams into 13 weeks worth of matchups, and nobody knew at the time that it would place We talkin' 'bout Practice? into a practically impossible schedule.

That's why, after five weeks of Jea Football, Practice has scored the second-most points in the league but sits in second-to-last place.

According to An's stat page, Practice's Rank average is 7.2, which is the best in the league. Essentially, that means that only three teams score better than Practice in an average week. Good, right?

But then look at his opponent rank, 7.8, also highest in the league. Combine those numbers with some bad luck, and you've got a 1-4 record.

Not only did Practice lose for the fourth time, he did so in what turned out to be the weekly Game of the Year. Let's relive the suffering, shall we?

Fartsicle 117, Practice 115


It's common practice to be slightly leery of starting your QB against your defense. After all, each touchdown scored by your QB eats away at your defense's score. So you can't blame Practice for not starting Brett Favre, especially after the guy's 17 combined points in his first three games.

But despite the game starting well past his bedtime, Favre proved he can still get double-digit fantasy points. And if Practice had started the elder statesman over his Monday night opponent, Mark Sanchez, Practice would've won.

A defensive touchdown by the Jets proves that you can have a big day for your defense and the quarterback they're facing. Each had 16 points.

But not starting Favre almost worked in Practice's favor on the last play of the game. With the Vikings trailing by 9, Favre let loose one of his trademarked Hail Mary passes into the endzone. Two Jets defenders touched it before it fell to the ground incomplete. If either had held on, that would've meant two more points for the Jets D/ST and a tie for Practice. (If Favre had started with Practice down by 2, the interception thrown and caught would've been a wash in fantasy points, of course.)

Fartsicle did just enough to win despite leaving a ton of points on the bench. His optimal lineup, which would have required four roster switches, would've given him 32 more points. He probably won't mind, though, as he got his second win in a row.

Explosion 120, Screech 96


Explosion laughs at the thought of two wins in a row. He's got three! After starting 0-2, will Explosion ever lose again? Not if he keeps scoring points at an impressive rate. He's the league's leading scorer and is averaging 122 points per game. He hasn't come anywhere close to scoring in the double-digits since his 85 in Week 1. Couple that with the fact that opponents are scoring just 94.2 points per game against him, and you've got a recipe for success!

How has Explosion scored so many points? Two words: quarterback consistency. While some teams look at the waivers each week for their next quarterback, Explosion doesn't even give the position a second glance. Look at the points through each of the first five weeks:

Philip Rivers: 21, 24, 26, 17, 26
Kyle Orton: 14, 21, 26, 21, 25

The two are first and third in total QB points so far this season. Nice. Just hope you play Explosion in their bye weeks, Weeks 9 or 10, when he'll be forced to pick up a third QB.

As for Screech, I don't want to talk about it, OK?! But I will say that when a team's leading scorer is the defense, it's not going to be pretty. Screech's first sub-100 week means that all 10 teams have now finished with double digits in at least one week.

Steeles 126, Republic 101

The difference between the Steeles' Week 4 loss and his Week 5 win isn't anything revolutionary. It's just simple math. If Chris Johnson + Matt Forte = a lot of points, Steeles win. If CJ + MF = 6 points, Steeles lose.

After a 78-point performance last week, Steeles is back in the win column thanks entirely to that tandem.

Week 4 without CJ and MF: 72 points
Week 5 without CJ and MF: 67 points

In other words, the other nine players on the Steeles performed about the same from Week 4 to Week 5, but the elite running back tandem really showed up when Steeles needed it most, combining for 59.

On the other side of the ball, Republic had his second 100-plus week but really could've used those 30 points from Brandon Lloyd or 17 points from Marcedes Lewis while both sat on the bench.

Republic is in last place, but there's some definite promise on his bench that says he could turn things around, even if his playoff odds are about 25 percent.

Ants 121, Hahne 105


This matchup finished with two teams going in the opposite direction. Ants won his second in a row, while Hahne dropped his third straight. The result is two 2-3 teams that are pretty similar on paper, actually.

If the playoffs started today, Hahne would occupy the sixth and final playoff spot, while Ants would be the best team left out. He trails Hahne in total points scored by just 15 points.

Fifteen points can be a single roster move, reminding all of us that every decision could be the difference between a playoff spot and an early end to the JFL season. The first tiebreaker for playoff spots is total points scored, so don't be afraid to "run up the score" when you can!

This was a solid week for Ants, who had four players on bye and an injured QB2. Ants had two nice pickups this week, Josh Freeman, who had a solid 15, and Sebastian Janikowski, who booted in a cool 11.

I got onto Hahne last week for starting two players on bye week. This week, each of his three bye week players was on the bench where they belong. But a disappointing performance from Peyton Manning (7)  and his Chargers D/ST (minus-4) made for another loss.

Trees 132, When 78


The blowout of the week pitted Week 5's highest and lowest scorers against eachother. Not a very compelling game, so that's why I put it last. For Trees, two 0-point performances essentially left him with nine players. (By the way, Trees had been the only team without any members of Club Zero. That ends this week in a big way.) But no matter, Trees still managed 132 points, or 14.7 points each for those nine productive players.

Trees spread the love around, too, with four players finishing with 18 points or more.

And then there's When, who once again is left searching for a breakout player -- that one player who wins the week all by himself. Last week, When's leading scorer had 17 points. This week, it was 19.

Finally, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't mention that Rams defense. A trendy pick this week against the historically bad Lions, the Rams gave up 44 points and finished with a putrid minus-6, the lowest score for a single player in Jea Football League history.

Other notes

For more stats than you'll know what to do with, check out An's stat page, already updated with fresh numbers from Week 5. 

Thinking about playoff chances? If all remaining games were decided by flipping a coin, our two 4-1 teams, Steeles and Trees, would be in the playoffs better than nine times out of 10. You can look at all that here. 

Finally, put on your parka and visit Club Zero, a graveyard of sorts for the players who score 0 points (or less--yikes!). Hahne is now all alone at the top with six Club Zero members, while Screech is at the bottom with one.

Wide around the middle

After four weeks of Jea Football League action, every team has at least one win, and every team has at least one loss.

That means that just two games separate the three 3-1 teams at the top of the standings from the three 1-3 teams at the bottom.

Then there's that wide middle, the four 2-2 teams who haven't quite figured out where their season will go. There's Explosion, winner of two in a row and the league's top scorer (by just five points). And then there's Hahne, so impressive in the first two weeks but quite literally missing since.

Still, with nine games left to play before the start of playoffs, anything can happen.

Week 4's games were pretty dull, with the lone exception being the Practice-Green Trees game. Even that was pretty much decided going into Monday night (Brandon Marshall would've needed to grab 16 points to tie). In each of the other four matchups, the winners had a triple-digit score while the losers finished with totals in the 70s.

Several of the top individual performers apparently thought it was still 2006. Gates, LT, and TO had 27, 28, and 32 points, respectively. But alone at the top was the fantasy newcomer Arian Foster, who tallied a nice 33 points after sitting out for the first quarter. That helped lead Practice? to its first win.

We talkin' 'bout Practice? Yes, and he begins our Week 4 recap:

Practice? 133, Trees 121


After losing two games in which he scored the second- and third-most points of the week, Practice? was probably wondering if a win would ever come. Really, there's only one way to ensure a win in head-to-head fantasy football: score the most points in a single week. Well, that's just what Practice? did, scoring 133 and making Trees the week's Hard-Luck Loser. That's a new JFL term to describe a team that lost while scoring in the top four for the week.

Trees would have beaten seven of the other teams in the league.

But Trees, who still has the league's easiest schedule so far, finally had an opponent score more than 85 points, and it came back to bite him.

The cynic might say that Trees would've won if Adrian Peterson wasn't on bye week (Laurence Maroney got 1 point as his replacement), but let's just be glad that Practice?, the league's second-leading scorer, finally got a win. It's only fair.

Ants 101, Republic 72


The other 0-3 team going into Week 3, Ants, also snagged his first win of the season. Ants has scored the second-lowest number points in the league, but his opponents have scored the second-highest number of points. That's a recipe for some tough losses, but this week was the first exception.

He ran into Republic, who has the league's lowest average score (83.25) after four weeks. Some tough performances from quarterbacks have really hurt Republic so far.

Ants and Republic each had quarterbacks finish with negative totals. Cutler had a minus-3 before leaving with a concussion, and Anderson had a minus-2 before being benched. If that wasn't enough, Ants bye week running back Lynch had eight yards and a fumble for a minus-2.

But nice days from Jones-Drew (24) and Calvin Johnson (20) helped Ants get a win during top QB Romo's bye week.

Fartsicle 128, Hahne 72

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Remember Weeks 1 and 2 when Hahne scored 133 and 143 points? He was the leading scorer each of the first two weeks and looked unstoppable. Then something happened in Week 3. I don't know what it was, but his team stopped showing up.

Last week, he started a player who was inactive on his way to finishing at 53 points, the lowest total in Jea Football League history.

This week, he tied for the week low with 72 points. The culprit this time wasn't a late scratch but two starters on bye week! We can assume that he didn't check ESPN even once in the past week. That means chances are good he won't be reading this blog, either. But just in case: WAKE UP, HAHNE!

But seriously, inactive owners are no fun, and we miss you, Hahne. So if you or someone you know is friends with Hahne, please remind him to check out his roster once a week to move bye week players to the bench. Well, unless he doesn't care about the fate of his $20 entry fee. If that's the case, keep on doing what you're doing!

Would it have mattered in Week 4, though? Probably not, because Fartsicle had a solid 128 points to grab his second win and finish in second in points for the week.

Explosion 115, Steeles 78


Steeles' streak of 110+ points per week ended in Week 4 thanks to an implosion at the running back positon. With WR1 Andre Johnson already on the Steeles bench with an injury, the vaunted Steeles running backs weren't much help. They combined for 18 points.

The good news for Steeles, though, might be on the QB front. He finally had a QB2 score in double digits (Gradkowski, 14). In fact, his QB3 for the week, Kevin Kolb, also scored in double digits (12) on the bench. Kolb will be the Week 5 starter, so things could be looking up.

Meanwhile, Explosion followed up his 174-point outburst last week with another triple-digit day, helping pull him out of the funk that emanated from his 0-2 start to the season. He's now the the league's top scorer and the highest-ranked 2-2 team.

Screech 110, When 79


LT is back! The 11th-round draft pick scored 28 points to lead Screech to a victory. And thanks to Trees' loss to Practice?, the Screech is now in first place. True, only eight points separate first and third, but still!

So far, the Screech has been the most consistent team through four weeks, for whatever that's worth. Points so far: 117, 107, 116, 110. But that could easily change with bye weeks now here in full force, so don't get cocky, Screech!

For When, it was a disappointing week in which just three of his starters scored double digits, and the leading scorer only had 17.

Other notes

• For more stats than you'll know what to do with, check out An's stat page, already updated with fresh numbers from Week 4. 
• It's way too early to think about playoff chances, but let's do it anyway. If all remaining games were decided by flipping a coin, the three 3-1 teams would have about an 82 percent shot at making the playoffs, while the 1-3 teams would get in about 36 percent of the time. You can look at all that here. 
• Finally, put on your parka and visit Club Zero, a graveyard of sorts for the players who score 0 points (or less--yikes!). 

They've made a huge mistake

Five teams will consider Week 3 "the one that got away."

In the case of two of the matchups, a 93- and a 73-point blowout, it was the one that got really far away really fast.

But in the other three contests, each of the losers could've won if they had made a single roster switch. That's the case many weeks, of course, but it's hard for the losers not to think that they've made a huge mistake.

Let's look at the numbers.

Republic 101, Fartsicle 88


Team Fartsicle is your clubhouse leader in the battle for "Worst Roster Move of the Season." He picked up a new tight end, Dustin Keller, and had nearly four full days to make two clicks and add Keller to his active roster. But, inexplicably, Keller sat on the Fartsicle bench all weekend. He didn't sit on the Jets' bench, though. He went for 98 yards and two scores, which was good enough for 21 points. Add 21 points to Fartsicle's score, and he's won the week. Oops!

On the other side of the matchup, Republic scored enough to snag his first victory, even though the two top scorers on his team (Benson and Cassel) combined for 42 points...on the bench.

Explosion 174, Ants 81

If Fartsicle hadn't left his TE spot empty, his score would've been much higher. If Ants hadn't left his D/ST spot empty, his score would've been slightly lower!

Yes, the "Move of the Week" could be Ants picking up the Dolphins defense and then keeping them on the bench while they finished with minus-2 points. Now that's the way to stay out of Club Zero.

It wouldn't have mattered either way, though, as even Ants' combined bench and starters would've lost to Explosion by 67. Or look at it this way: take Explosion's three top scorers for the week (Collie, Wallace, and either QB) and bench everyone else. That game would've been closer, but Explosion's three starters still would've beaten Ants' 10 starters, 83-81.

Trees 126, Hahne 53


Do you like battles between unbeaten teams? How about dull, lopsided victories? Well then you probably enjoyed Trees-Hahne about as much as you loved Steelers-Bucs.

It's tough to figure out this Hahne team. He was the league's leading scorer in each of the first two weeks, and then he sets the Jea Football League record for lowest single-week scorer (previous low: 64). Ouch. Part of it was his own fault, though. He started Jerome Harrison, who was inactive because of injury. And that minus-3 from the Bucs' defense didn't help much, either.

The rest of it was just consistent suckiness from his entire team. Look at these numbers from his running backs, receivers, and tight end: 2, 3, 0, 2, 2, 2, 2. That's gonna make things difficult. His lone bright spot was from Peyton Manning, who scored nearly half of the team's points (26). Oh, and while we're piling on here, know that Hahne's bench outscored his starters, 54-53.

For Trees, victory came easily despite benching Anquan Boldin (33 points). Trees is one of only two remaining unbeaten teams. (Steeles is the other). But how can Trees be 3-0 when he's sixth in the league in points scored? He has the easiest schedule in the league so far. Opponents are averaging 67.3 points per week against him. The team with the next highest opponent point total is the other 3-0 team, Steeles, whose foes are averaging 92.3 points per game. Ah, the joys of head-to-head fantasy football!

Steeles 119, Screech 115


Now here is how a battle between unbeaten teams is supposed to go down. Well, I would've preferred to win, of course, but this one came down to the final minutes of the Monday night game.

Sure, I could've started Matt Ryan (19 points) instead of Sam Bradford (11), but where's the fun in that? Going into Monday night with a 10-point lead, I knew anything could happen. Steeles needed to outscore me by 11 to win, and he ended up with 14 more Monday night points, thanks mainly to a 10-point night from Johnny Knox.

But it was up for grabs as Green Bay drove down the field, needing a field goal to take the lead. That would've meant points for my kicker, Mason Crosby. Instead, the Packers fumble and give the ball to Chicago, which orchestrated a drive that set up a field goal for his kicker. That's a 6-plus point swing that truly was the difference. Good game!

Meanwhile, the Steeles quarterback controversy continues. After two straight weeks of 0 points from his QB2, his third QB2, Josh Freeman, got him 6 points. Freeman's on bye for Week 4, so he'll be dropped for a fourth different Steeles quarterback. Stay tuned.

When 136, Practice 128

The other really good game of the week was the sibling rivalry between When and Practice. "When Practice?" "I dunno, ask coach."

Like me, Practice could've swapped his benched quarterback (Flacco) for his low-scoring starting QB and won the week. But Brett Favre against the Lions seems like a good matchup on paper, so you can't blame him for the fact that Favre only had 8 points.

Practice starts the season 0-3, and you can't say he isn't trying. Instead, blame unfortunate scheduling. A quick look at An's stat page shows that Practice has had the second-toughest schedule so far (Ants has the toughest). That means that Practice has a team that's better than his 0-3 record suggests. In Week 1, he played the team that scored the most points, while he scored the second-most. And in Week 3, he played the team that finished second in scoring for the week, while he finished third.

Meanwhile, big bro (When) got a solid win and sits near the middle of the pack for most statistical categories.

What's next


The byes are here! We've seen empty roster spots that could've helped or hurt a team, but now we get to find out which team will be the first to start someone who's on bye!

Club Zero

Rather than keep this post going on even longer, check out the latest Club Zero additions here.

That was close!

In Week 1, three matchups finished with a spread of five points or less. Week 2 wasn't as exciting as none of the five contests finished within single digits.

Two games were decided by exactly 11 points. The other three had an average margin of victory of 49 points. Ouch!

Don't forget to check out An's stat page, updated each week.

Let's make some random comments about each matchup, starting with my own.

Screech 107, Practice? 96


After scoring the second-most points in the league in Week 1, it was looking like Practice? would finish as one of the lowest scorers in Week 2. Then Frank Gore came along. The Man in San Fran needed to outscore Drew Brees by 23 points to secure a win for Practice?, but that didn't happen. Practice? got stellar value out of his new "second" QB, Michael Vick (24 points), but his top QB Brett Favre (1 point) was a non-factor. Can Practice? bounce back in Week 3 with Vick on the bench?

Steeles 130, Ants 84


When five of your six RB/WR slots are filled with single-digit point totals, it's tough to win. That was the case for Ants, who saw another disappointing day from keeper Maurice Jones-Drew (2 points). For a portrait of consistency, though, check out those Ants QBs. Both Tony Romo (15 points) and Jay Cutler (23 points) had the exact same totals in Week 2 that they had in Week 1. A cool 38 points per week from QBs is pretty solid. However, Steeles nearly got that many from his one QB, Matt Schaub (31 points), but an injury to Dennis Dixon (0 points) likely prevented a week-leading total from Steeles, who finished in second for the week, behind...

Hahne 143, When 86


I thought you two were friends. Hahne, is that how you treat a friend, with a 57-point beatdown? When's leading scorer was his defense with a nice 22-point showing from Pittsburgh. There wasn't much help on the rest of his roster, though. Same goes for the bench. In fact, if When could've started his entire roster, including his bench players, he still would have lost by 28 points. Hahne, meanwhile, rode Jahvid Best's week-leading 43 points to another victory. Hahne is at the top of the standings with a 138 points-per-game average.

Fartsicle 127, Explosion 116


The other close contest was Fartsicle's win over Explosion. But when you look at Fartsicle's bench, it's apparent that he was winning this week regardless. On his bench he had a QB with 15 points, an RB with 20, and a WR with 17. If he had subbed in each of those players for the lower-scoring starters, he would've gained an additional 44 points! As it was, he still had enough to finish with the third-highest score. Explosion, meanwhile, couldn't get it done with a team that basically consisted of two quarterbacks and a tight end. Those three were responsible for more than half of Explosion's points.

Trees 108, Republic 64


Some quarterback tandems help you win. Others belong to Rock'n'Republic, apparently. His two QBs combined for minus-1 points in Week 2, with Vince Young scoring minus-3 before being benched. He's been named the Titans' starter for Week 3, but will Republic ever trust him again? Trees, meanwhile, finished with another low-point win. For the second week in a row, Trees finished in the bottom half of the scoring but still came away with the win.

Get your geek on

Want to look at Jea Football League stats from every conceivable angle?

Well, now, thanks to An, you can! 

Find more stats than you'll know what to do with, all available here. He'll refresh them after each week's games are finished.

One early trend I see is that no team came within 10 points of what they were projected to get. An came the closest at 11 points lower than projected, while Josh Lee finished with a disappointing 56-point deficit.

ESPN's projection people apparently cannot be trusted. At least for Week 1.

The statistics really become fun once we're a few weeks in, but props to An for putting this together again.

Revilatilize your roster beginning at noon on Tuesday, Sept. 7

Which Arena League team will
Matt Leinart play for this year?

Unsatisfied with your draft picks? Fear not, overanalytical fantasy football team owner!

Beginning at noon (central) on Tuesday, Sept. 7, the player universe will be at your mercy! You'll be able to drop players (except those on the undroppable list) and add new ones to your roster.

All preseason transactions are through free agency, meaning you can drop and add as you please.

After Week 1's Monday Night games, however, we'll convert to a waiver system. That means you'll:

1. Make a waiver claim (or several) for the player(s) you want.
2. Wait until Wednesday when the claims are processed.
3. See which players you get! (Claims are processed in an "inverse-standings" order, which resets each week. In other words, the last-place team gets priority.)
4. ????
5. Profit.